We Have Joy

It's been one of those months where I have had to search at the end of everyday. At the end of each day, effortlessly search. Search for a reason to laugh. The kind of laughter that will have my stomach in a knot. The kind of laughter that has streams of tears running down my cheeks. Laugh so hard I have no time to determine how loud or how embarrassing my laugh can be. That kind of laughter.

Sitting now thinking about it is great cause every night I have gone to bed authentically joyful with a good dose of that kind of laughter. It's true. I won't be boastful any further but I'll be honest rather.

So in the last past weeks, somewhere in my subconscious mind, I've been haunted by the meaning of my first name. My mother named me Sinovuyo, which is isiXhosa, meaning: we have joy.

To prevent any further unanticipated rambling on my behalf; I will just say that I will do anything to be joyful. I mean that beaming-smile, genuine-laugh, free-spirited, whole-hearted, self-content, Cross-embracing and Christ-satisfied kind of joy.

The thing is when I get trapped in the buzzy busy of my very very little world it becomes almost so easy for me to let 'things' sabotage my joy, my esteem, my strength, my walk. It is not till I opened a page in my journal earlier this month and read, "The joy of the Lord is your strength - Nehemiah 8:10." As I turned the page it read, "Shout for joy, O heavens; rejoice, O earth; burst into song, O mountains! For the Lord comforts His people - Isaiah 49:13"

So there I was: in song, shouting for my joy. Hhey now don't deem me crazy. I told you I will do anything for my joy. Also, do know that being in song and shouting (literally) are not necessarily actions I'd like to have in parallel to one another - otherwise I wouldn't be my dad's daughter though I am my Father's child. However, it is just that I am willing to go to war for my joy.

Now this is not because I got given this duty cause my name suggests joyfulness. Neither is this because I am on this planet to walk on rainbows and pursue self-indulging pleasures for my life.

It's because I have come to know that sometimes joy is the only strength that I have. I am talking about the beaming-smile, genuine-laugh, free-spirited, whole-hearted, self-content, Cross-embracing and Christ-satisfied kind of joy.